Lily Allen's (pants) trainers

Not content with the self-obsessed Bono and Bob "we must extend copyright to protect my great talent" Geldof I have discovered a new fly in my ointment, a hair in my soup, a sweaty foot in my new pair of Nikes. That irritating, whiny, talentless, ball gown wearing, me me me, grasping, humourless twit. And, no (particularly the hoxton journalists at the Indy), you're all wrong she can't sing, her music is pants and her lyrics are neither clever nor funny. Really you should be ashamed of yourselves, Lily Allen is no more a "MySpace superstar" than I'm Stephan Fry. Face it, she's the UK's answer to Paris Hilton, just a little less trashy. "Oh but how can you say that about such a talented zeitgeisty madam of the moment", with great ease dear readers. For example: some time last year the Indy ran yet another Lily smooch piece (you can just here all those Indy columnists saying "my kids think I'm square but if we run another 'we love Lil' piece they'll think we're down with it"), this particular YALSP was titled The Wit and Wisdom of Lily Allan.

Now let me print some song Lyrics of 'ol Lil so you too can make an informed judgement; "If  you're gonna play with fire then you're gonna get burned" ('Friday Night' though originally from my Grandmas great big book of "You don't say! Sayings") or how about this one; "Say what you say / Do what you do / Feel what you feel / As long as it's real" ('Take What You Take'). No comment. And that nonsense about being a MySpace breakout act. What a crock of **** as our cousins down under would say. She's Keith Allen's daughter for goodness sake.

But none of the above is grounds to take such a rant at the childishly sensitive Lilibet (on Jonathon Ross "This sections about me not you!"), no the real reason I'm incensed is because of her trainers. You see the famously independent Lilith who's style consists of ball gown and trainers (respect on that front â?? I'm a suit and trainers man myself) is said to have received hundreds of pounds worth of foot ware from that well known maker of shoes who's name shall not be uttered (N, Four letters, fast Greek). "I wouldn't do things I think might jeopardise [my independent image?] I wouldn't do Coca-Cola" she said. Uh! Coke/Nike much of a muchness dear girl. She continues "But I really like Nike trainers even with the sweatshop aspect" [Observer, 07.01.07]. 'Nuff said me thinks.

On a less ranty note, congratulations to Rob et Lil (a different one, I like her) who got married two days before Christmas. It was a stonker of a reception, what with Robin in his kilt, Lily in her gorgeous dress, Benny on the decks and Aaron dancing like your favourite uncle.

 

news News

Brown fixes green energy with nuclear
Greenpeace report poll fixing by govt

news Teatime

Two Bills for One
Relax with Bills Bailey and Connolly

blog Blog

Obama wins US election
...and Trump gets go ahead for environmental destruction